I have discovered a stark contrast between what each sex thinks the opposite sex wants from them
, and what the opposite sex really does want.
What women think men want from them causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them causes them much of the same feelings and frustration.
The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing. But, you don’t have to take my word for this.
I asked a number of men and women who are actively involved in personal growth and development what they want from a partner in order to build a great relationship. You will find their answers unexpected. Discover what men said they want from women as contrasted with what women think men want.
You’ll also find tips for women to give men what they want, attract a great man, and create a wonderful relationship.
Honest communication is top priority for men. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his and her dignity.
Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up. A tip for women
Great men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively. 2. Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women.
Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests.
On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.
Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and
possibly make him run away. A tip for women
Men want what women want — a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment. 3. Men want a manipulation-free relationship.
Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.
Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism. A tip for women
Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise. 4. Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.
Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.
Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a
woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving. A tip for women
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression. 5. Men want fidelity and a commitment to the relationship.
Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough.
Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship; that when the going gets tough, they run. A tip for women
Here is great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient. 6. Men want women who know how men need to be treated.
Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment. A tip for women
Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you. Now that you know what men want, what about what you want?
The desire to love and be loved is the most basic human need. You you realize how deeply God loves you? You are a human being who is loved by God. You are intelligent, beautiful, loved, and not alone. Take a minute to think about that – God loves you, and not because of what you do. He loves you for who you are and will never leave you because of anything you’ve done. Isn’t that just the kind of love you’ve always dreamed about? read more
Do you ever feel like it is time to change your man? Or perhaps you are noticing that more and more you find yourself nitpicking at him?
Before you jump down his throat it is important to examine whether or not he has changed from the time you first met.
From our experience and upon closer examination and countless discussions with our female audience, we find that the very men women are attempting to change are in fact still the same men when they first met and fell in love with them.
So why suddenly the ambition to change your man? And into what or whom would you like him to change into?
After closer examination and many interviews it becomes apparent that men's behaviors stay relatively identical to what they were when they first met, however, the romance and the newness of the relationship may have faded a bit. The effect of this reality gives the woman the impression that his love for her has ceased or diminished somewhat.
So ladies, here are some of awesome tips to help you with this seeming dilemma:
Tip 1: Every man has a different opinion and viewpoint of what makes a great lady for him. When you start to date a man, instead of giving forth your best side, stop worrying about how to impress him - be yourself and instead do your best to find out what he wants. You may find by asking questions that you are not at all what he is looking for. Instead of trying to mold yourself into what he wants, remain who you are at your own core and don't compromise your own integrity just to impress a guy. Being real as a woman is a rare trade and ultimately what will attract the right guy to you.
Tip 2: Instead of working excessively hard on trying to impress a guy by putting up a facade, loosen up and let go of your fear and worry about not getting the guy and just have fun and enjoy yourself. We are not saying that you should compromise yourself beyond what you truly want from the bottom of your heart, we are saying, however, not to put a hook into a specific outcome of the situation. Express who you are, be real and enjoy yourself - smile! If a guy wants to be in your life, he will figure out a way to be in your life.
Tip 3: As a general rule men can hardly resist a woman who is emotionally stable and mature. And this is something only you can work on. So make yourself your own first priority and let the perfect match come to you at the right time.
Tip 4: Before you run out and try to change him into who you want him to be, decide to accept him exactly as he is. The moment a thought crosses your mind of changing this small thing or that small thing, is when you're heading for trouble. Love and accept him "as is" right now. If you are unable to do so, then consider that he may not be your guy.
Tip 5: Women above all want intimacy, closeness, connection and trust - to women this translates into love. Men, by the way, want the same thing - add to that appreciation, which perhaps tops the list for men. So know that both men and women strive to be open and vulnerable. For this type of closeness to happen, however, we first must establish trust. Trust is hardly established when you try to change him or tell him what to do. Instead of going about it that way, simply express your desire, your wish. Communicate this to him your wish, detach from the outcome - and then let him figure how to make your wish come true. Men are amazingly creative and innovative at making wishes come true of the women they love. When you demand things from them or tell them what to do or worse, how to do it, you are contributing to his eventual disappearance.
Remember that as the woman, you have incredible power to influence him in a positive way - and at the same time you have the inexplicable power to destroy him. Appreciate him for everything he does, mention the things he does and say 'thank you' frequently (with sincerity). And watch how he will unfold and expand into wanting to do even more for you. source
Are you like me? Pretending to be happy and not longing for something. Fake laughter and smiles? Shining eyes while you try in hiding your feelings and sadness through smiles. No one will tell, no one will know. It's your way of emoting and your way of showing this is how I treat life, how I challenge life and how I cried for life and happiness...
One day; I was strolling along the beach thinking of my past,my present and my future. What did I want in life? What's in store for me? What is my future? Recalling the past i remembered, I was a little princess to my mom and dad. Surrounded by beautiful things and loving people. My father died and I became less happy. Mom remarried a monster, my life became difficult. As I grew up I longed for someone who would love me in return.
I met a special person, became the father of my kids. I was happy and contented, but not for long. The guy that I loved and fathered my children became an enemy. I ran, ran away and never looked back. I struggled and renewed myself. Tried to redeem my dignity and my worth. Truly I am better than a beaten wife. I am treasured not treated like a garbage. With faith and strength I fought life. Met people along the way. These people touched my heart and made me strong.
Someone came along, promised to stay and would hold my hand. Would wipe the tears when tears roll down my cheeks, would laugh with me if I am happy. I thanked the Lord, could he be the one I am waiting for? I married the guy with hopes and dreams. I was wrong. Family differences made us far away. Still I am alone, on my own.
I looked up,asked God why? I just wanted someone who would stick with me. Who would fill the emptiness in me. Who would make me a part of a family and make me whole. I cried. Bursted to tears with sadness in my heart. At work I tried to be happy. I hide through my smiles. I tried to calm my sorrow and hardly would not entertain envy to those couples that I see. I am happy even if I am crying no one would see. I am happy, when would it be? source
You are dating someone and there is a part of you that is totally happy with him and you feel like he really might just be the kind of guy that you have been looking for, but then again, there is another part of you that just isn't that sure. You don't want to have these kinds of doubts, but you know that they are there. Are there any signs that you can look for to try to determine whether or not he is really right for you?
Here are a few that I think you want to see if he truly is the guy you should be with:
1. He doesn't have to be begged to spend some time with you.
A lot of women do actually end up being with guys that they have to practically beg to come and see them. If the man you are currently dating does NOT fit that mold and he doesn't have to be begged in order to come and see you, he might be right for you. Of course, this is probably not the only sign that you want to see, because sometimes even guys who really are not relationship worthy still want to go and see the woman that they are dating.
2. He is a responsible guy, not the kind of guy that you have to make decisions for.
It might feel good for a little while to be with a guy who needs you to make the decisions for him, but what promise does that hold for the future? Responsibility is usually a good indication of whether or not you are going to have to deal with a lot of problems down the road, the more responsible he is on his own, the less likely it is that you are going to have to deal with any problems that can't be handled.
3. You can't stop thinking about him and it seems like he can't stop thinking about you.
This is a good sign if you want to know if the attraction and chemistry is really mutual between the two of you. When you know that seeing him equals the best part of your day and you can tell that he feels the same way about seeing you - you can usually count on the fact that he probably is the right man for you to be with.
4. He talks about his future and when he does, the discussion includes you.
This is a good sign if you are hoping that things are really going to blossom into a long term relationship. If he is talking about future things and you just happen to always be included in those plans, chances are good that he is serious about being with you and you probably do have a future with one another. source
If you are dating a guy who seems to get a thrill out of playing games with you, then you definitely are going to feel like you just want it to stop. He might be acting as though he isn't that serious about you anymore one moment and then acting like he is the next. Whatever kind of games he happens to be playing, you definitely don't need to deal with that if you want to have a healthy and satisfying relationship. So, what can you do to make the games come to a stop?
Here is some advice on what you can do if you want your boyfriend to stop playing games with you:
1. You have to first check yourself and determine if you are really hoping to stick this one out.
Sometimes you have to see things for what they really are and not for what you want them to be. So, you might be thinking that you just want your boyfriend to stop playing games with you, but the reality might be that this is just the way that he is and if you want to be in a relationship where that isn't happening, you might need to come to the conclusion that he really is not the right guy for you to be with.
2. Don't give him any attention when he is playing games with you.
As long as he is getting something positive out of playing games, he is probably going to keep doing it. If you want that to stop, then you can't give him any attention when he acts that way. As long as he can keep getting a benefit out of what it is that he is doing, chances are good that he is going to keep on doing what he has been doing.
3. Communicate the way that you really feel with him.
Have you taken the time to really discuss the way that you feel? It might be hard to do that, and you may feel like avoiding the issue, but all that is going to do is to guarantee that it will continue to be an issue. Anytime that you are having problems with your boyfriend, you have to be able to communicate with him effectively if you want things to change.
No one wants to have to deal with a guy who is playing games if they are hoping to have a serious relationship that is healthy and fun to be in. You may just find that the guy you are with right now is NOT the one for you and if that is the case, then you might want to look into what you can do to find the RIGHT one.source
What do you do in these cases? In the beginning it was like nothing you had ever dreamed. The butterflies in your stomach and the constant reminder of the one you love persisted in your head throughout most of the day and it lingered on for weeks and months.
Now he or she doesn’t really pay attention to you and has their attention on other things. Why is this. Do the constant opportunities of love present new and exciting things for your partner that they do not want to have anything to do with you?
In most cases this is said to be true. The problem with this is that you did not introduce new and exciting things in your relationship so that it can continue to grow. As the relationship evolves so does your actions and interests on other things that you can potentially introduce into the relationship.
This is very important when you want the attention of some you dearly love and they are not showing it back to you. New ideas, interests and things that you can come up with to show your [partner that you are not a potential boring person will most often than not do the trick to keep the relationship going smoothly.
It could be a change of attire, the love of travelling to new places with your partner or the simple act of spicy intimacy that you can introduce as something new in your relationship. Just a few things to consider. The key here is to always try something new and create things that you can look forward together.
Divorce is an extremely painful thing to have to go through. If you are having marriage difficulties, the last thing that you possibly want to do is to ignore the problems that you are having and act like all is well. Problems that are not sorted out get bigger and escalate to even bigger ones. If you are having a lot of problems to the point where you are worried that you and your spouse might end up in divorce, there are things that you can do to put that divorce to a halt.
Look at the other options that you have, and do not make it to be the only option there is. It essentially should be last option for you to look into. The first thing that you should do is to open the lines of communication between you and your spouse. This should allow you to lay all your problems bare and face them head on. If you find that talking to each other is not helping much, find someone who is neutral to the problems that you are having and get help. There a lot of professionals who are trained for this sort of thing, and it will help you face your problems and talk about them.
Invest some of the money that you have on a marriage counseling course. This can only make your marriage stronger and give you a fighting chance in saving it. The despair and the negative feelings that you may be experiencing as a result of the problems that you are having in the relationship can be dealt with, and the counselor can help you go back to a time when you were both happy in your marriage.
Both you and your spouse need to take responsibility for what you have contributed to the relationship. This is important because if you do not own up to the mistakes that you made to get the relationship where it is now, you will not be able to sort the issues that your relationship is having. It is important to acknowledge what your contribution is to the breakup of the relationship so that you can start afresh and bring back the happiness and the sparkle that has been lost. How to stop a divorce
essentially comes to how much both of you are willing to invest to make it what it once was.
Think about what it really means to divorce. Think about what it means for your family, your finances and your children if you have any. Divorce is devastating, both financially and emotionally, and the damage done can be irreparable. If you and your spouse weigh out everything else, you will realize that you can stop the divorce and avoid all the negativity that it comes with, and focus on rebuilding what you have lost.
When it comes to marriages and the problems that arise, it is not easy to just walk away. There is so much that has been invested in it, that is the reason why all other possibilities should be explored before divorce is even spoken about. Divorce does not have to be an option for you and your spouse, it can be stopped.
It's summer time and most families will be out on vacation this year. Either on the road or in a plane. Which ever you choose you must always be careful of each others feelings during this time.
You are out of your elements and increased emotions can truly drive you all crazy. When I say this, I mean literally insane with each other. Especially on a road trip. If you are traveling with your partner and are constantly fighting with each other on the road, the stress levels can really overcome you both.
Increased stressful emotions while traveling can really put a damper on your vacation plans too. This happens to everybody. You must be careful on how you act since the environment around you can be temporarily alien to you.
When on vacation, try to have fun and open up to new and exciting things together. Remind yourselves that this experience is only temporary and that you should make the best out of it.
What do you want to remember, the fighting or the new experiences that were shared together that will never come back? Something to definitely think about. Comments, thoughts?
Have you ever wondered why relationships just don't last? Everything is always perfect and strong in the beginning and as time changes our feelings are different. Why is that? Why do people change and the feelings of love grow weaker instead of stronger?
Do people have wandering eyes or want to experience new things with others? Or, is is simply that the magic dies over time and we just have to get used to each other until we can't take it anymore.
Most often then not, this is what happens in relationships. Most of the time the thought of boredom sets in in your partner or yourself that it can drive people literally mad.
When in fact, there is a way to keep the intimacy alive and full fill each others needs day in and day out. The secret is understanding what each other needs. If you don't know what it may or may not be, then you will have to closely examine your relationship to see what it needs to be filled each and every day. Just like a plant.
The more you water your plant each day is almost the same in a relationship. Constant nurturing of each others needs is an important factor to consider when you think of longevity in a relationship.
There’s not much time left in the game and your favorite team is down by a goal. The normal plays haven’t worked, but now, with nothing left to lose your team opens up a solid offense. The plays become more darting, the pitch opens up and suddenly …
Relationships are much the same way. We often lose track of why we are dating someone, we forget the things that made us happy to spend time with them, and before we recognize it/s happened that partner has left us. To get them back we step gingerly into asking for forgiveness, but the trick is to act with more urgency earlier. The most common mistake of a recently single partner is to think that waiting it out is the right call, instead you need to make gestures, not suffocating your partner, by letting them know that you made a mistake.
Flowers, chocolates and cards are always recognized as significant gestures of admiration. Try to also throw in gift certificates to some of your partner’s favorite clothing stores, or online merchandisers. You want to show that you recognize their interests, that with you there will always be an opportunity to be heard and understood – that you failed the first time, but won’t the second time.
There are dating sites to help you if you fail to recover your relationship. But don’t give in too soon and don’t be a wallflower. Take the lead; motivate yourself to become proactive in searching for the partner that got away. And when the time comes, open up your options and show them that they are your best friend and lover. Be sure to take the shot when it becomes available.