Many times we confuse love with smothering our partner.  Those cute and friendly phone calls that you make to him or her throughout the day, aren’t that great if you are really calling to make sure that your partner is where he or she should be.  If your love is double edged or selfish, then you are probably smothering your partner.  This is a one way street to Splitsville.  Many individuals do not realize that they are actually smothering their partner until they realize the differences between love and smothering.  Take a closer look at your relationship to see if your love is pure or you are smothering.  You may just be able to save your relationship before it is too late.

If at anytime in the back of your mind you are interested more in where and with who your partner is spending time with rather than calling to speak to him or her, then you are smothering.  If you call your partner more than two or three times a day and more on the days that you do not see each other, your partner will feel trapped.  Instead of having time to appreciate you from afar, he or she is running towards the exit.  One way to get over this type of smothering act is to occupy yourself.  If you are busy, then you will not have time to make your frequent calls.

Do you try to spend every waking moment with your partner?  At first it may be a sweet gesture but after a while there must be some sort of separation between the two of you.  If you are forcing your partner to give up seeing his or her friends, just to spend time with you then you are definitely smothering your significant other.  People love to talk about how great their partner is, but how can yours if you do not let him or her out of your site.  Normally, your insecurities in the relationship cause you to try to take control over your partner’s life.  The less time he or she has to their self, the less your partner is going to want to stick around.

Love naturally leaves you.  You think about this person positively and you do not find it necessary to get in contact every time you think about this person.  Give yourself some space to see how much your partner loves you.  See the things that he or she will do for your love.  You will notice that there is a lot less fighting and many more romantic gestures when you allow this space for your relationship and individuality to grow.  It is difficult for many people at first, once they realize that they have been smothering rather than loving.  But recognizing this crucial dating mistake is half the battle.  Now all you have to do is find ways to separate yourself a bit.  You will go from having a rocky relationship to a rock solid one.

To learn more, visit: www.datingwebsites.org


 


Comments

11/12/2010 8:59am

The more people that read this, the more they will understand that keeping a relationship strong involves more than keeping a leash on their partner.

The words you write are so true and can bring reality back to mind. I believe that what you say will help bond a failing relationship and put the respect back where it belongs.

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01/23/2011 5:05pm

Your article is oh so right!!! When I was young I confused smothering with love. It takes an enormous amount of energy to smother the other person. You both lose. Also, it is hard to enjoy your own life when you spend all your time and energy worrying about what your partner is doing. Enjoy life and enjoy love.

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02/18/2011 10:13am

Hi,

"Love naturally leaves you. You think about this person positively and you do not find it necessary to get in contact every time you think about this person. Give yourself some space to see how much your partner loves you. See the things that he or she will do for your love."

It really strikes me, LOVE NATURALLY LEAVES YOU. Is it just like LOVE is not true? I guess so. I'm into a lot of relationship but none of them working well, so I don't believe in love.

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02/21/2011 2:55am

Thanks for sharing this good information.

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06/08/2011 4:59pm

How do you stop smothering someone and give them their space when you live with them? i call him in the morning before work, at lunch and after work when im on my way home.. been doing this for 3 years and if i just stopped he would think something is wierd.. i dont really have alot of friends or interests of my own and he is the center of my universe and the only thing that makes me happy and i dont know what to do tobegin the unsmothereing process... i dont want him to lose interest an it drives him nuts that i have nothing better to do than to spend my time with him bu tim scared that if i try to hang out with friends from time to time, that he will think its ok for him to leave and go hang out until all hours of the night with his friends without me.. this is horrible and i cannot lose him. period.

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Diana
06/24/2011 2:26pm

Hi Lora,
I feel the exact same way as you do. Although my guy has not complained about it too often, I am determined to change this part about myself. Perhaps you could read someone's story about how she saved her marriage @ http://isavedmymarriage.com/

My guy decided to leave me, and we are not completely broken up. But I realized this pattern of men leaving me in my life, and I can't help but think - There must be something wrong that I am doing. Until I stumbled upon this site, I realized that I was too scared to 'love' someone, I was operating on fear all the time. I smother the guys which set them up to leave me. These fears accumulated as a result of failed relationships. I do not want to lose this guy and so I will do everything in my power to learn how to have a healthy, stable relationship.

Wish you the best too, with yours :)

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Angeline
07/14/2011 3:45pm

I did not realize that smothering was an act of selfishness etc but after reading this and other articles it makes perfect sense. A light has shined on this girl guilty of smothering! I don't and won't smother anymore!

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macy stevens
10/03/2011 10:32am

ok so i have been dating this guy for at least 2 weeks tomrrow im very confused bc when i started dating him i wasnt over this guy that broke my heart but im over him knw but i fell in luv with my current boyfriend but i seemed to fall out of luv with him i just dnt knw wht to do anymore i have been havin thought of leaving him bc i am knw inluv with my best friend ricky i just dnt knw wht to do i need some serious help oh and i am 14 years old sooo dating is dramatic for me!!!!!
signed
truley depressed and in luv tennager

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