Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:39:21 -0500WeeblySun, 18 Sep 2011 16:11:21 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2011/09/how-to-stop-divorce.html  Divorce is an extremely painful thing to have to go through. If you are having marriage difficulties, the last thing that you possibly want to do is to ignore the problems that you are having and act like all is well. Problems that are not sorted out get bigger and escalate to even bigger ones. If you are having a lot of problems to the point where you are worried that you and your spouse might end up in divorce, there are things that you can do to put that divorce to a halt.

Look at the other options that you have, and do not make it to be the only option there is. It essentially should be last option for you to look into. The first thing that you should do is to open the lines of communication between you and your spouse. This should allow you to lay all your problems bare and face them head on. If you find that talking to each other is not helping much, find someone who is neutral to the problems that you are having and get help. There a lot of professionals who are trained for this sort of thing, and it will help you face your problems and talk about them.

Invest some of the money that you have on a marriage counseling course. This can only make your marriage stronger and give you a fighting chance in saving it. The despair and the negative feelings that you may be experiencing as a result of the problems that you are having in the relationship can be dealt with, and the counselor can help you go back to a time when you were both happy in your marriage.

Both you and your spouse need to take responsibility for what you have contributed to the relationship. This is important because if you do not own up to the mistakes that you made to get the relationship where it is now, you will not be able to sort the issues that your relationship is having. It is important to acknowledge what your contribution is to the breakup of the relationship so that you can start afresh and bring back the happiness and the sparkle that has been lost. How to stop a divorce essentially comes to how much both of you are willing to invest to make it what it once was.

Think about what it really means to divorce. Think about what it means for your family, your finances and your children if you have any. Divorce is devastating, both financially and emotionally, and the damage done can be irreparable. If you and your spouse weigh out everything else, you will realize that you can stop the divorce and avoid all the negativity that it comes with, and focus on rebuilding what you have lost.

When it comes to marriages and the problems that arise, it is not easy to just walk away. There is so much that has been invested in it, that is the reason why all other possibilities should be explored before divorce is even spoken about. Divorce does not have to be an option for you and your spouse, it can be stopped.

]]>Sun, 26 Jun 2011 17:36:38 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2011/06/vacations-can-hurt-or-strengthen-a-relationship.htmlIt's summer time and most families will be out on vacation this year.  Either on the road or in a plane.  Which ever you choose you must always be careful of each others feelings during this time. 

You are out of your elements and increased emotions can truly drive you all crazy.  When I say this, I mean literally insane with each other.  Especially on a road trip.  If you are traveling with your partner and are constantly fighting with each other on the road, the stress levels can really overcome you both.

Increased stressful emotions while traveling can really put a damper on your vacation plans too.  This happens to everybody.  You must be careful on how you act since the environment around you can be temporarily alien to you. 

When on vacation, try to have fun and open up to new and exciting things together.  Remind yourselves that this experience is only temporary and that you should make the best out of it.

What do you want to remember, the fighting or the new experiences that were shared together that will never come back?  Something to definitely think about. Comments, thoughts?
]]>Sun, 26 Jun 2011 17:28:28 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2011/06/why-dont-relationships-last.htmlHave you ever wondered why relationships just don't last? Everything is always perfect and strong in the beginning and as time changes our feelings are different.  Why is that?  Why do people change and the feelings of love grow weaker instead of stronger?

Do people have wandering eyes or want to experience new things with others?  Or, is is simply that the magic dies over time and we just have to get used to each other until we can't take it anymore.

Most often then not, this is what happens in relationships.  Most of the time the thought of boredom sets in in your partner or yourself that it can drive people literally mad.

When in fact, there is a way to keep the intimacy alive and full fill each others needs day in and day out.  The secret is understanding what each other needs.  If you don't know what it may or may not be, then you will have to closely examine your relationship to see what it needs to be filled each and every day.  Just like a plant.

The more you water your plant each day is almost the same in a relationship.  Constant nurturing of each others needs is an important factor to consider when you think of longevity in a relationship.
]]>Sun, 13 Mar 2011 21:11:46 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2011/03/last-minute-rescue.html  There’s not much time left in the game and your favorite team is down by a goal. The normal plays haven’t worked, but now, with nothing left to lose your team opens up a solid offense. The plays become more darting, the pitch opens up and suddenly …

Relationships are much the same way. We often lose track of why we are dating someone, we forget the things that made us happy to spend time with them, and before we recognize it/s happened that partner has left us. To get them back we step gingerly into asking for forgiveness, but the trick is to act with more urgency earlier. The most common mistake of a recently single partner is to think that waiting it out is the right call, instead you need to make gestures, not suffocating your partner, by letting them know that you made a mistake.

Flowers, chocolates and cards are always recognized as significant gestures of admiration. Try to also throw in gift certificates to some of your partner’s favorite clothing stores, or online merchandisers. You want to show that you recognize their interests, that with you there will always be an opportunity to be heard and understood – that you failed the first time, but won’t the second time.

There are dating sites to help you if you fail to recover your relationship. But don’t give in too soon and don’t be a wallflower. Take the lead; motivate yourself to become proactive in searching for the partner that got away. And when the time comes, open up your options and show them that they are your best friend and lover. Be sure to take the shot when it becomes available.

]]>Thu, 03 Mar 2011 19:36:56 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2011/03/the-dating-site-secret.html If you think about what makes dating sites work, you immediately think convenience. Yes, in the modern world a few places to meet a companion at the click of a mouse can be very compelling, but that access isn’t what lures people into buying subscriptions and meeting the love of their life. The attraction is a chance at honesty and while that word seems contradictory to the tenets of Internet anonymity, most dating sites demand it.

E-Harmony and Chemistry do extensive amounts of psychological research to make sure that every partner is matched for compatibility. You might not have enjoyed this service as you got to know your partner, but now, all these years later, there is a lesson to be learned. Ask and listen – you just might find out something you never knew.

Frustration is one of the most common emotional complaints of men and women in troubled relationships. They will each claim that the other doesn’t understand their problems that the marriage has suffered because one partner tries to garner the attention. From these emotions come disdain and finally separation. But if you employ the lessons of the dating site word you might be able to show, and then finally realize, listening skills that result in a fuller emotional relationship without ever having to sign up for a service yourself.

Four Tips:

1.       Listen Up: Ask general questions and don’t limit responses. This is not about you … yet.

2.       Validate: Find the emotion of your partner’s story and say it back to them. “Oh, you sound very frustrated, your co-worker must be completely incompetent.” These words disarm and allow for fresh ideas and conversation.

3.       Remember, Respond: Take on cues and always try to remember nouns. Like a dating site that sees you’d have to live in the same town to be compatible or share at least a subtle interest, you need to start thinking about ways to share each others time. It’s not difficult as most partners drop hints. Remember those hints.

4.       Don’t Judge: You’ve done worse and when’s the last time one of those multi-million dollar sites got rich by condescending their customers.

These are only a few ways that the online world can teach us about how to treat our spouse and repair the lines of communication. Any attempt at creating conversation will always be met with kind words, so keep on trying!

]]>Thu, 06 Jan 2011 15:42:20 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2011/01/not-sure-where-your-relationship-is-going.htmlAre you not sure where your relationship is going?  Most people during the holidays unfortunately feel this way because of all the built up emotions that occured through out the year.  You may ask yourslef if it is worth even holding on to it or just simply letting it go. 

Ask yourself how you feel towards these ambitions? Do you see yourself with this person forever or do you feel that you will be questioning this for the rest of your lives together?

Either way, you need to follow your heart.  If you are always questioning your relationship, I can assure you now that it may not be the right one for you.  You will know this when the right person comes your way. 

Although, there are ways in adapting and fixing your relationship if that is your will to do so.  Start by what makes you happy most of all before anything else.]]>Fri, 17 Dec 2010 07:45:31 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2010/12/how-to-buy-the-perfect-holiday-gift.html How to Buy the Perfect Holiday Gift?

The holiday season s coming around and it is time to start your holiday shopping.  You know that the single most important present this year is the one that you give to your significant other.  Whether you are in a new relationship or you just don’t have any luck picking any winning presents, here is your guide to buying the perfect holiday gift for your partner.

Where to Start?

The first place that you need to start when thinking about which gift to buy is how long have you been going out for.  If you have only been going out a few weeks, it can be pretty awkward if you give him a Rolex or her a diamond tennis bracelet.  For people that have been going out for less than three months, you should keep your budget on the cheap side.  This does not mean that you should get your partner a cheap gift, you can get really good presents for under $20 that are acceptable for this relationship.  If you are in a long term relationship then you are looking at a price range between $50 and $100.  In this case a pair of diamond studs or a pair of tickets to your boyfriends favorite band is pretty appropriate.

Choosing a Gift

There are thousands of stores that are telling you that this is the present to buy, but is it really?  Gift sets are nice but maybe for the in- laws, not for the person that you love more than anything else in the entire world.  Anything resembling a gift set should be put aside because it shows a lack of thought in your gift giving process.  The best way to choose a gift is to think about your partner.  Because 9 out of 10 times, that will be the perfect gift.  You don’t always have to spend a fortune on the perfect gift either.

Suggested Gifts for Your Significant Other

If your partner is very athletic, you might want to continue down this path.  If you know that he wants a particular set of weights, a punching bag or even a massager for the nights that you come home late and can’t give him a massage, those are all excellent presents.  If your partner is a musician, then try to purchase something musical.  You can purchase a new musical instrument, sheet music, music lessons or tickets to a concert.  Find something that your sweetheart loves to do and get him/her something that relates to it.

Finding the perfect gift just requires a little thought and a lot of love.

Check out: datingsite.org


]]>Sat, 11 Dec 2010 08:00:38 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2010/12/long-distance-relationship-boot-camp.htmlNo one likes to see their better half being sent thousands of miles away, but it happens.  At first being in a long distance relationship can be like a recent break up.  You still have strong feelings for this person but he or she isn’t there with you.  No matter what anyone says, the first few weeks of being separated are extremely difficult.  The good news is that if you and your partner manage to get through this first few weeks, you will be able to carry out a strong long distance relationship without losing sight of the bigger picture.  Here are some long distance relationship boot camp tips to help you get in shape for your long distance romance:

·         Being in a long distance relationship does not mean that you love your partner any less.  Every day you have to thoughtfully show this person how much you care.  Sometimes we take our partner for granted when we can see each other every day.  Now you have to think to yourself what can I do to make today special for the person that I love.

·         Plan ahead.  Make a schedule.  When is the next time that you guys will physically be able to get together.  Having this date in mind can help the two of you stay calm to work out your long distance relationship.  Until then, there is little that you can do so there is no point in stressing out about how much you miss the other person.

·         Schedule times to talk.  You can talk all day long throughout text messaging and emails but make a dedicated time to talk to each other.  You should speak to each other every day to keep the relationship strong.

·         Send physical reminders that you care.  Send your partner a care package in the mail or have flowers delivered to the office.  Make sure that your partner has plenty of physical reminders until you arrive to see your sweetheart in person.

·         Being in a long distance relationship means that you can focus on other aspects of your relationship that you might not normally focus on.  One of the best factors of long distance dating is that you get to work on communication.  Communication is fundamental in every relationship.  You might realize that the next time that you see one another that your relationship has greatly strengthened.

Being in a long distance relationship is tough but it can be very rewarding in the long run.  Knowing that you can be with someone thousands of miles away can be advantageous than the constant dependency of needing someone by your side every moment of the day.

Learn more at: datingwebsites.org


]]>Thu, 30 Sep 2010 10:05:33 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2010/09/first-year-relationships-the-important-questions.html By Eric J. Leech

How well do you know your partner? This subject has been covered countless times in magazines and books. While these love guru's often claim the most important information comes from past sexual escapades, prenuptial expectations, and gambling fancies, in truth, the most important knowledge comes from everyday conversation, not glorified quizzes. Here's a list of questions you should be able to answer by the first year mark of your relationships.

·  Where was your partner born? What is their biggest accomplishment, greatest strength, favorite dream, and worst fear?

If you do not know where your partner came from or where they are going, how can you expect to help with their goals or know when they finally get there?

·  Who is your partners best friend, favorite relative, full name of both parents (including mothers maiden name?)

Friends and family are very important to most of us, and you should make the effort to know as much about your partners extended family as you do your own.

·  What words would your partner use to describe you (and no, sh!# head doesn't count)?

Couples who communicate well, know where they stand with each other and are confident in the overall happiness and satisfaction they offer their partner. If you're not sure where you stand, then you haven't taken the time to really listen.

• What would your partner say are your most annoying habits/traits?

We all have bad habits, whether it's a temper, tendency to be messy, or preference to set the toothpaste cap on top, versus twisting it closed. It's the little things that make the difference in a successful partnership, such as a love note here, a picked-up sock there, or finishing the last teaspoon of milk because you know putting it back in the fridge really irks him or her.

·  What is your partners shoe, shirt, and pant/dress size?

Knowing your partner from the inside-out, means knowing their physical attributes along with their emotional and spiritual. With such knowledge comes the opportunity to bring about a special thoughtfulness beyond the standard gift card. Sometimes men are not so good at picking out clothing, but it really is the thought that counts, as long as the size is right and the receipt is easily accessible.

·  What is your partners cell phone number (by memory, not typed in your phone), blood type, known allergies, donor preferences, belief of life support, and burial wishes?

You never know when an emergency may come along. This is why you should always know your partners work, cell, and immediate family's phone numbers in case you need to reach them. We often take it for granted that our partner will always be there. Live each day as if it were your last, loving your partner as if they were your first!

·  What is your partners favorite hobby, vacation spot, movie, and restaurant?

Activities are a great way to bond with a partner, but if you don't know what they like to do, you have already missed out on this opportunity.

·  Where would your partner prefer to live? What kind of house, furniture, picket fence, garden, or pets do they want?

It's amazing how few couples have sat down and painted a (mental) picture as to how they see the relationship 20 to 40 years down the road. If your partner dismisses these questions almost as quickly as they were brought up, perhaps a future may not exactly be on their “to do” list.

·  What's your partners favorite position (missionary, cowboy, or lazy boy)? How much sex do they need? What are their sexual deal breakers (bondage, swinging, etc), and how many children do they want (if any)?

How well do you know your partner sexually? If you're building a long-term relationship, make sure you are on the same page, or at least somewhere in the middle of the next page (by compromise). Fifty percent of all married and unmarried couples are dissatisfied in the bedroom, but only a small portion ever do anything about it. The solution begins by talking, and finding the answers to these questions.

·  Is your partner as comfortable with a toilet brush in their hand, as they are the remote control? How much financial security is necessary for them to feel secure?

Chores and money are a big source of relationship stress, so it is a good idea to know where your partner stands, and make any adjustments necessary to ensure they are comfortable with the direction the relationship is headed.

datingsite.org

]]>Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:59:23 -0500http://www.howtofixrelationship.com/2/post/2010/07/how-to-save-your-relationship-from-smothering-your-partner.html Many times we confuse love with smothering our partner.  Those cute and friendly phone calls that you make to him or her throughout the day, aren’t that great if you are really calling to make sure that your partner is where he or she should be.  If your love is double edged or selfish, then you are probably smothering your partner.  This is a one way street to Splitsville.  Many individuals do not realize that they are actually smothering their partner until they realize the differences between love and smothering.  Take a closer look at your relationship to see if your love is pure or you are smothering.  You may just be able to save your relationship before it is too late.

If at anytime in the back of your mind you are interested more in where and with who your partner is spending time with rather than calling to speak to him or her, then you are smothering.  If you call your partner more than two or three times a day and more on the days that you do not see each other, your partner will feel trapped.  Instead of having time to appreciate you from afar, he or she is running towards the exit.  One way to get over this type of smothering act is to occupy yourself.  If you are busy, then you will not have time to make your frequent calls.

Do you try to spend every waking moment with your partner?  At first it may be a sweet gesture but after a while there must be some sort of separation between the two of you.  If you are forcing your partner to give up seeing his or her friends, just to spend time with you then you are definitely smothering your significant other.  People love to talk about how great their partner is, but how can yours if you do not let him or her out of your site.  Normally, your insecurities in the relationship cause you to try to take control over your partner’s life.  The less time he or she has to their self, the less your partner is going to want to stick around.

Love naturally leaves you.  You think about this person positively and you do not find it necessary to get in contact every time you think about this person.  Give yourself some space to see how much your partner loves you.  See the things that he or she will do for your love.  You will notice that there is a lot less fighting and many more romantic gestures when you allow this space for your relationship and individuality to grow.  It is difficult for many people at first, once they realize that they have been smothering rather than loving.  But recognizing this crucial dating mistake is half the battle.  Now all you have to do is find ways to separate yourself a bit.  You will go from having a rocky relationship to a rock solid one.

To learn more, visit: www.datingwebsites.org

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